People come and go..and they left when u least expected it..
To be here for the entire 5 years, many sacrifices i have made..
and most of them are beyond my control..
i felt like a helpless lamb and can only leave it to God..
I believe He knows what's best for me.

During my 1st year here, my maternal grandfather passed away, since i've only seen him once, i don't feel much cause he left my grandma and the kids many years ago.He had 4 wives.

Then 2 years ago, my paternal grandpa had lung cancer,3rd stage.One day i called him, told him to wait for me to come back and he passed away just 1 day b4 my arrival.

Then next was my maternal grandmother, she had asthma and suddenly difficulty in breathing, but she was fine after that,she started eating and talking and suddenly she went into coma,stayed in ccu for few days and left.I was quite close with her, we used to talk a lot, sitting on the swing in her house, she told me how mischievous was my mum last time, and i miss her "lou shu fun"..her cookings, her everything..But i guess i'm running away from the fact that she is not here anymore..I sometimes feel that she is still with us, somewhere out there..

Then because of all that incidents that haunted me, i decided to visit my one and only grandmother more often, i saw her on webcam, i talked to her, i slept with her, i massaged her..During CNY, she used to cook my fav meesua with boiled egg and pork for us, i even bought my ticket to come home this CNY, i miss all her cookings, i don't think anyone can cook dishes as delicious as her, her spring rolls..everything....Just when i thought i will see her again..
My dad sms-ed me b4 he left to china, he told me to call my grandma cause she fell down and i thought i will call her the next day because i was too busy talking to my mum and i was tired after that..I feel so bad when i heard the news..I feel so empty, still can't believe what had happened is real..can't believe that people can just leave the world just like that...