Depressed

I know i've been so lazy to even type a word here. I think i want a new blog. I dun even wanna read whatever i have written in the past. I dunno why.

I'm very emotional. Probably bcuz the people here are pitiful enough to make me feel depressed. Yes i feel depressed whenever i am alone or i am too free, but yet i need just a little of my own space at night. around this time. I need to be alone, have my own privacy to do whatever i wanna do. Like walking in the room without wearing anything and etc. I know i shouldn't write this. This is my blog and i really wanna be true to myself but there are so many things i want to write here but i just can't. Human nature, we mind what others will think of us. But i know i'm in a state higher than the others, i can ignore ur comment to a certain extend, basically i can ignore whatever bad things u wanna think about me.

Internship is indeed very boring. But this life is carefree. I know everyone would be dying for this but i am feeling somewhat empty inside. I want to do something more, learn more(but not about dentistry maybe?).Well, about the world, new technologies because i know, i am way far bhind from whatever that are happening in malaysia. Yeah im so outdated and i've just finished reading "The kite runner". This story touches my heart in everyway, there were moments when i feel lumps in my throat, or tears pooling around my lower eyelid. Lols. It educated me in someway, and made me wanna be a better person. I wanna be nicer to others, i know it's hard, like what the bible says, love your neighbour like how u love urself. Fuhh it is so damn hard.

Now i am reading anne frank's diary(wohhhhhhhh i know i am so slow). I know but u have to understand that i do not even have free time to read books, bcuz...not bcuz i was studying but i wasted my time surfing the net and watching drama HAHAHA.

So yeah im longing for the day that i have stayed here long enuff to go home again. I miss my parents and my bro. One of the happiest things in dis holiday is about him, he talked so much with us and he used to be very quiet. And i love it. it made me happy and feel very contented, i know i dun deserve anything but God has given me so so much. I really dunno how to thank Him. I know i am not good enough and im jz a sinner=(

and my bro piggy back me from upstairs to downstairs ;p

and my daddy kissed me on my cheeks a number of times.

and my mummy explained to me whatever i felt unfair about my childhood. That was just silly of me to misunderstand everything. I know all of them love me deeply, truely, madly. haha.

I wanna go home=*(

But if i kept going back when will i ever finish my internship then?

I will be here alone and everyone will be in malaysia starting their housemanship. Sobs.

I'm feeling abit depressed will i even fall into depression...and having to take anti-depressant?

What is wrong with me?

I don't wanna be so free PLEASE.

Life will be perfect if i'm back for good=(

seriously.

Im so bored and dis is my friend in clinic. U know im just kidding ryte?